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Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Antisocial or Selectively Social


“Actually you’re……”, she said and then turned away as I rolled my eyes. Seconds later, she turned back as if contemplating whether to say what she wanted or not.

"Hmmmmmm", I gave her a frigid glare, because I had not wanted to indulge in any kind of conversation.

“You’re not like the others”, seemed she mustered some courage.

“So what?”, terse as ever I was. "I don't wanna be"...
“You need to be a tad more social”... whispered she.
“Did I ever say or suggest anything to you or the others?" Before she could even have a thought. 
"NOPE", snarled I.

“The problem ain’t being being social or not - the problem is that you people just don't mind your own business. Always try to poke your nose in other’s affairs. Take for instance, this uncalled-for conversation you picked up for no reason and to make it even more loathsome, you don’t have the gall to say what you really wanted to say”. I bluntly conveyed what I felt about.

With a sheepish smile, She turned around and just as she started to trudge...  

“And one more thing”, my uncharacteristically aloud tone made her stop but she preferred not to turn back as if knew that not much pleasurable was coming her way.

“I ain't here to be what people want me to be. Accept people the way they are. Nobody is here to make others happy”, I sneered.
Conceited, haughty, arrogant blah blah blah - people have been saying all of me. Of course behind my back. Do I care? Heck no, but sometimes I do get curious to know why do they?

I have no issues interacting with people and I can get through social situations just fine. But, I have no desire to hang out. I don't try to fit in. Whenever I have to explain this to someone, they say "social anxiety disorder". I, for one, don't believe that is the case. I don't get panic attacks while in public places, although when I am in public gatherings - more often than not, I feel detached from others. I'm very quiet in social settings and sometimes I just hate socializing. 

It is obvious that this world is a an extrovert's playground. Most people of my age like to party. But really it's okay not to go to parties. This doesn't make you freak. I am a totally different person than anyone else I know and people often don't get me. I know word "Hate" sounds bad. So I'd only say I don't like people. It is just so draining for me to blab with people. Therefore, I avoid them. I'd rather be asleep in my bed than to contribute to a conversation I don't give a damn about.

At times, I feel like one of those little kids who run away from the others just to play by themselves. I wasn't antisocial in school days. However, it was completely different "Me" when I started going to university. And I still can't figure it out why? I know it would be hard to go through life being sort of semi-isolated but I can't help it.

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